Letter #12 — Don’t Complain — Adapt: Turning Problems Into Power -

Dear children,

There’s something I’ve learned over many years of watching all sorts of people, move through life, and it’s something I want you to understand while you’re still growing, while your minds and hearts are still learning how to respond to the world.

Life is full of little frustrations and unexpected moments that can turn your day upside down before you even have a chance to catch your breath for example, you might wake up and realise your favourite socks are missing, or get to school only to find that you’ve forgotten something important, or maybe a friend suddenly changes plans when you were really looking forward to something. And the truth is, these things don’t stop happening when you get older. They simply change shape.

For example, when your a child, you might complain that you cant do a sport just because you don’t have a certain type of sports clothing or equipment. you might complain that you cant write a certain amount of work because it hurts your hand. As you grow older you might complain that you cant do a job because its too far or that it starts too early or that you cant clean the carpet because the carpet is old. The list can go on and on and seem like its coming from all areas of people’s lives.

But here’s the part most people never realise:

Even though you can’t control every situation, you always change the way you see things! By doing this, you will shape your character far more than any situation ever will.

Complaining is the easiest reaction in the world and everyone has complained about something at one point in their life!

The words that come tumbling out of your mouth, just slips out whenever something feels unfair or inconvenient or disappointing. And because it feels so easy to complain, many people turn it into a habit without even noticing. They complain about the weather, about school, about other people, about work… sometimes even about things that can’t be changed no matter how loudly they protest. (I’ve written a letter about choosing friends wisely because if you surround yourself with negative winey, people – then guess what? That’s, right! You will also become winey and annoying without even realising!

But each time someone complains about something, something small but important happens inside them: they give away a little of their strength, a little of their courage, and a little of their ability to handle life with confidence. Complaining makes you feel powerless, because it keeps your attention stuck on the problem rather than helping you move towards a solution.

And this is why I want you to learn this concept now!

Especially as you are growing and your minds are still flexible and open. You need to learn that the real strength lies in adapting, in taking a deep breath, thinking clearly, and choosing a response that helps you grow instead of shrinking you down. I wish I new this information growing up, which is why I am sharing it with you now!

When you adapt, you are training your mind the same way your muscles get trained when you lift something heavy. Your muscles only grow when they are challenged, when they’re pushed just enough to become stronger than they were the day before. Your mind works exactly the same way. Every time you face a difficulty and choose to handle it with calmness, creativity, or patience, you are making your inner world stronger and more stable, even if the situation around you feels messy or uncomfortable.

Psychologists call this resilience — the ability to bounce back after difficulty — but I want you to see it as something much more personal than that. I want you to see it as the quiet, steady power you carry everywhere you go, the part of you that says, “This is hard, but I can handle it,” even when things don’t go the way you hoped.
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And one of the most powerful ways to build this strength is by replacing the complaint with curiosity.
Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” (a question that keeps you stuck and frustrated) try asking, “What can I learn from this?”
Instead of thinking, “This isn’t fair,” try thinking, “How can I make this work anyway?”
Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” try saying, “Let me try a different way.”
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These shifts might seem small, but they change the direction of your whole day.

And this is something I want you to remember every time life surprises you:

You can complain for hours, but it will never stop the rain from falling.
It will never bring back the thing you forgot.
It will never undo the disappointment or change another person’s behaviour.
But adapting and choosing to respond with patience, effort, or creativity, can transform what feels like a setback into something that strengthens you.

If you can’t control the weather, you can pick up an umbrella.
2. If you can’t control other people, you can control your voice and your reactions.
3. If you can’t prevent challenges, you can grow stronger through them.

And if you practise this, even in small moments e.g. when homework feels overwhelming or when someone upsets you or when plans fall apart or even when something feels unfair, you’ll start to notice a change inside yourself. You’ll feel calmer and more capable, and even become more confident in your ability to handle whatever life sends your way.

Every challenge is a classroom.
Every problem is a teacher.
And the lesson is hidden inside your attitude.

So my dear children, remember this: complaining will always make you feel smaller, but adapting will always make you grow.
The world belongs to those who look for solutions, not excuses.

So now that you know what to do — go apply it.
You’ll learn faster, grow stronger, and feel prouder every single time you practise.

And if you’d like help getting started, we’ve made something special for you — a set of creative activities and reflection challenges that will show you exactly how to turn problems into power.

👉 Click here to download your Adaptability Pack

Love you lots,
Mum and Dad