Letter #3 – Strong Friendships Start Here: Teaching Kids to Choose Wisely

Dear children,

This lesson is about something that will help shape your life.

– It’s about who you let into your life. –

You see, friends can lift you up or they pull you down. Meaning, they can bring you closer to the person you want to become or slowly lead you away from it.

So How do you choose wisely?

Let’s start with a truth most people don’t talk about:

In the real world, people tend to align themselves with those who can help them survive or succeed. That’s human nature. So let’s think about it. Tell me, do most people go out of their way to befriend the cleaner, the builder or the bus driver?

Sadly, no and that’s not because those people aren’t valuable, it’s because society has trained many to chase status and not substance. And you see it every day because people are imitating what they see in magazines, on social media, TV and more, hoping to be like the people they ‘look up to’. (We cover this more in the letter about the effects of social media.)

Look at how they dress or behave — hoping to align themselves with the wealthy or famous. They don’t go out of their way to befriend someone lesser known and that’s because they feel they won’t get anything out of it. This is the reality, unfortunately.

But you don’t need to be like most people.

You can be kind to everyone and wise with who you let into your inner circle.

Here’s something you must always remember:

💡 Outside of your close family, your worth to others is usually based on how you can benefit them.

If someone doesn’t see how you can help them, whether that be emotionally, socially, or financially — they may not value the relationship. And that’s okay because it just means you need to be selective.

Be the kind of person who looks for mutual benefit in friendships for example: don’t let it be one-sided, or draining, but balanced. Give — and receive. Help — and be helped.

Moreover, you can’t always ask someone directly what they want from you but if you listen closely, people reveal themselves.

If someone keeps mentioning a challenge or asking for your thoughts, they might be testing to see if you’re the one who can help them so watch for these patterns. It’s not rude — it’s smart.

The best friendships are based on non-monetary values.

Friendships that are built on shared beliefs, purpose, or kindness last longer than those built on convenience or money. So for example: someone who values your insight, your calmness, or your character is more trustworthy than someone who sees you as a shortcut to popularity or gain.

Look for the quiet givers. The good listeners. The ones who aren’t trying to impress everyone. They often make the best friends.

So where do you find these good friends?

📍 Firstly, you should go where your values live e.g.
Courses, bookshops, volunteer groups, places of worship, skill classes — any place that teaches or uplifts.

Not everything fun is bad — but people you meet in places of wisdom are more likely to share your direction in life, furthermore, a friend from a religious class will often bring more value to your journey than a friend you meet at a party.

That’s not about judgement — it’s about alignment.

Here’s a quote I want you to memorise and carry with you:

“Solitude is better than bad company, and good company is better than solitude.”

ahadith

That means:
– If you’re alone, you’re not failing.
– If you’re surrounded by the wrong crowd, you’re at risk.
– And if you find good friends, keep them close.

You don’t need dozens of friends. Just a few who really see you — and help you grow.

Choose wisely, children. Be friendly to all, but only let a few into your heart.

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So now that you know what to do — go apply it.

You’ll learn faster, grow stronger, and feel prouder every time you practise.

And if you’d like help getting started — we’ve made something special for you.✨
Friendship reflections, red flags and green flags, and more — tools you can use right now to learn this lesson.

👉 [Click here to download your Friendship Pack]

Love you lots,
Mum and Dad